Ding, Dong, The Witch is Dead

Helen Thomas has been retired with extreme prejudice after videotaped remarks suggesting that the Jews in Israel “go home” to Poland and Germany where, when she became a reporter in 1943, they were being treated with the deepest respect.

The story says that “Ms. Thomas, 89, was known for posing questions in the kind of tough and provocative manner that could make press secretaries gasp and her colleagues cringe.”  To me this is just one of the less attractive features of the superannuated:  the assumed belief that because of their age, they can get away with saying anything.

Ms. Thomas is a hateful old harridan, but I am uncomfortable with her dismissal.  The first reason is that I dislike firing anyone for what they say, however I reserve the right not to listen to such crackpots ever again; I stopped listening to Pat Buchanan the day he mentioned Israel’s “amen corner.”  The second reason is that she is a relic totally without influence; she’s no longer a reporter and no one, but no one reads her Hearst columns.  The third reason is that it creates a martyr, giving the usual crew the opportunity to blame the influence of the international Jew bankers – er, sorry – Zionist neocons.  The fourth and biggest reason is that I would love to have her remain a public figure and for someone to yell “Jew baiter!” at her whenever she opens her mouth.

Now that she’s retired, perhaps the White House press corps can get an audioanimatronic robot of Ms. Thomas and install it on the first row at the President’s press conferences.  There it can spew out preprogramed garbage-as-a-question and everyone can chuckle and murmur, “Good old Helen!”

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