Two international delegations will be in New Orleans today to observe the state’s election process as voters head to the polls for presidential preference primaries and a special electon to fill an at-large City Council seat. Orleans Parish Clerk of Criminal Court Arthur Morrell will host the groups from the Department of State’s International Visitor Leadership Program.

The first delegation will focus on human rights and human rights violations and includes officials from the United Nation’s Economic Commission for Africa. Delegation members represent the countries of Benin, the Congo, Gabon, Mauritania, Nigeria, South Africa, Swaziland and Zimbawe.

The second delegation includes twelve officials from Central and South America whose primary focus is minority participation in the election process. They represent government and media from Bolivia, Chile, Ecuador, Honduras, Mexico, Paraguay, Peru, Venezuela and Uruguay.

Great, that’s what we need:  busybodies from countries many of whose experience with democracy is non-existent, laughable or, at best, exceedingly recent and/or tenuous here to make sure we’re playing fair.  Who invited them and why are we tolerating them?

Dutch (left) and Ilya at the 2012 Borzoi Club of America National Specialty.

Jon S. Corzine, MF Global Holding Ltd.’s chief executive officer, gave “direct instructions” to transfer $200 million from a customer fund account to meet an overdraft in one of the brokerage’s JPMorgan Chase & Co. accounts in London, according to an e-mail sent by a firm executive.

Edith O’Brien, a treasurer for the firm, said in an e-mail sent the afternoon of Oct. 28, three days before the company collapsed, that the transfer of the funds was “Per JC’s direct instructions,” according to a copy of a memo drafted by congressional investigators and obtained by Bloomberg News.

I mean, how can you answer this?  The only defense I can think of is to claim that he’s not the “JC” referred to.  “Your honor, Ms. O’Brien was listening to a supernatural power.”

Eight people are to be questioned on counterfeiting charges on Monday after they were found with $100 million in fake U.S. treasury bonds in their possession, Polish authorities say.

The Central Anti-Corruption Bureau, a state agency, said the suspects — three Poles, two Italians, two Ukrainians, and a Moldovan woman — were arrested on Sunday afternoon in regions around Krakow and Lublin, in southern and eastern Poland.

A spokesman for the bureau, Jacek Dobrzynski, said the suspects were taken by surprise in Sunday’s raid. He said the value of the fake bonds was a record seizure for the bureau.

Selling worthless bonds with no backing?  That’s the US Treasury’s job!

If that wasn’t enough, we were also showing three dogs this weekend.  This aspect was much more successful.  On Saturday, Ilya was Winners Dog for a major and Best of Winners under Carole Beyerle and the Beeg Boy was Best of Breed.  In the Hound group, for which I had to step out of my role as ring steward, Joan Anselm gave him a Group 2.

On Sunday Mrs. Anselm again gave Dutch Best of Breed and his sister Carmen Best of Opposite.  Carmencita would have had a major for her grand championship but fell one entry short when the judge excused a puppy who had to be dragged around the ring on two legs screaming.

After judging I took everyone home and returned to the show.  After Best in Show, we helped clean up the site and pack up and load all the club’s equipment, then all our own.  The show site was dusty and windy and both Madame and I were hot, tired and covered in grit.  This in no way prevented us from going out to dinner immediately afterwards, walking into the restaurant in a Pig-Pen-like cloud of dust and no doubt causing discomfort to the elderly couple who sat next to us (“Hiram, those people smell!”).  Then home and total collapse.

An old Army saying is “Never volunteer for anything.”  Since I never 1) served in the Army nor 2) have been accused of having good sense, I agreed for a second year to be the chief ring steward for the Houston Kennel Club show held last Saturday.

For the very few readers of mine who also don’t know about dog shows, a ring steward is an unheralded but important part of a dog show.  A steward is a kind of assistant to the judge, handing out the right armbands to the exhibitors, calling classes into the ring, laying out the right ribbons for the judge to present, moving the examination table in or out of the ring among other chores.  A good steward can be a great help to the judge and exhibitors and a bad one can slow everything down, to the ire of all affected.  Usually throughout these United States, one steward suffices for each ring.  In a few places – including, unfortunately, Texas – two stewards are used for each ring, an inside one to help the judge and an outside one to help the exhibitors.

The job of the chief ring steward is to make sure that there are enough stewards for each ring, to provide for reliefs if one has to step out for a minute or needs time to show a dog, to arrange their schedules so that if someone is showing a dog they are not a steward for a judge doing their breed, group or best in show, and to serve as the ring steward during Group competition and Best in Show.  There are professional stewarding associations that can be hired but most clubs, including Houston at its Spring show, rely on volunteers to help out, most frequently from among club members.

Despite numerous appeals and pleading from early February, last Wednesday I had some 20 volunteers, barely enough to cover all the rings for the day.  In this business, barely sometimes has to be good enough.  I sent out e-mails to everyone involved with their ring assignment and when they should be there.  On Thursday and Friday, six (6) of them replied by fluking out on me, the last at 3:30 on Friday afternoon.  At least two of these people were desperately needed to open the show as the inside steward for that ring.

To say I was deeply concerned is an understatement but at least I could console myself about the two possible outcomes.  Outcome 1:  I would find some people at the last minute, in which case the show could go on.  Outcome 2:  I wouldn’t, in which case there would be a catastrophe with judges having to call people into the ring themselves and exhibitors having to pick up their own armbands, the reputation of the club suffering and so on.  In neither case could I be blamed.

Friday evening I wrote to some of my remaining volunteers, explaining the situation and asking if they could take on some extra time, be willing to move around to different rings during the day and/or work a ring by themselves.  All graciously consented.  Madame, who already had duties with judges hospitality, agreed to do an hour and a half early.  Saturday morning I arrived at the show site an hour before judging was scheduled to begin and explained the problem to the show chairman.  Between us we got just enough people to get through the day, which went off with only a few hiccups.

So just when you’re ready to damn everyone to hell enough good folks step up and pitch in.  I made some major withdraws from the Favor Bank this weekend but it was worth it.

• Diva (BISS Ch. Soyara’s Beautiful Dreamer)
• Alan (Ch. Soyara’s Singer of Songs)
• Belle (Ch. Soyara’s Southern Belle)
• Sarge (Ch. Soyara’s Ace of Spades)
• Stanley (Soyara’s Gandalf of Dana Dan)
• Smudge (Ch. Soyara’s Smoke and Mirrors)
• Tess (Ch. Soyara’s Cunning Little Vixen)
• Ali (Ch. Soyara’s The Force of Destiny)
• Chance (Soyara’s Against All Odds)
• Dutch (BISS GCh. Soyara’s The Flying Dutchman)
• Ilya (Soyara’s Ilya Murometz)
• Carmen (Ch. Soyara’s Carmen Fantasy)
• Aida (Ch. Soyara’s Celeste Aida)

Plus Talker the Whippet and Fluffy (God, what a name!) the cat.